For U.S. troops, increasingly ensconced within their huge, relatively secure bases, the violence became a constant but sometimes distant drumbeat, and mission fatigue began to set in.
Clifton Jan. 1, Ramadi
Hey, sorry I’ve been a bit absent. I’ve been trying to find the energy, both physical and mental, to drag my ass over to the internet center and all that it entails. To say I’m exhausted is beating a dead horse with a stick, I know, but s–t … I’ll come home and I’m going to sleep, uninterrupted for three days, except to piss and eat. And maybe not even then.
Been running some ops, quick little insignificant raids and whatnot. Keeping busy. Everyone is all spazzed out over the lack of direct contact [ … ] It’s like that scary music in a horror movie that keeps building up to a climax but then it’s just a cat or something stupid that crawls out from the shadow … anti-climax, sort of, but keeping with our paranoia.
[ … ] I asked one of my buddies what his [New Year’s] resolution was. He said to kill one more dude before we leave. Don’t think he was joking.
Missing you,
Chad
Marine CPL. Kyle Grimes Jan. 16, Firm Base Pickering (Fallujah)
There will be heightened security for elections. I expect to be busy around that time, just because these people feel safe whenever we are around. I wonder why? I usually get so incredibly bored whenever we are working with civilians. But you also can’t trust any of them. I am getting tired of not being able to trust average people. But I really have no choice with this place and an enemy like this. One thing is for sure. I know men that I can trust my life with. That is a great feeling.
Army CPL. Stephen McGowan Jan. 20, Ramadi
Well, things are definitely picking up here now. Apparently there is a cell of suicide bombers in the area as well as Mr. Al Zarqawi himself. So we are getting hot and heavy for the elections. Our FOB [forward operating base] was mortared today with one casualty. A suicide bomber hit and killed four soldiers yesterday, and a sniper is out taking shots at us now. So I have a lot of work to do.
[ … ] A new, nasty rumor has been floating around lately. Some of the officers are thinking that we may be extended until December for the [parliamentary] elections here. The last unit was extended for these elections, so who knows. So while you’re praying, pray that we come home soon as well. I would rather not do another four months on top of the year. But we will stay as long as we have to.
Clifton Jan. 24, Ramadi (journal entry)
I was on post this morning with Ben and basically we were talking about why the f— we are here, besides you know, having fun and being bored all the time and people trying to kill us. All this was while aiming weapons at traffic (it’s necessary when you have a scoped rifle, and you need to use the scope, don’t judge me!).
I realized, we’re in Iraq because it doesn’t matter about freeing Iraqis. They will piss away their freedoms [ … ] It’s their culture. But at least all these foreign fighters and extremists now have a battlefield, a place to stick it to us Americans. And that’s fine with me. I’d rather fight them here than have my family killed in a bombing or [have] snipers gun down an innocent in the street [in America]. So basically, we’re here to be like … f—ing bring it. Its better here than home, you know?
Pick your battles.
Clifton Jan. 27, Ramadi (instant-message exchange)
IT’S ROB: Did you hear about that guy … a Marine who went nuts and killed cops back home? He was stationed at Pendleton and he didn’t want to go back.
[CLIFTON]: Yeah, King knows him from 2/4.
IT’S ROB: No s–t!
[CLIFTON]: They lived with us before the war … we replaced them here … cool guys … we turned into them … when we got here, everyone was like, damn these guys are depressed. They shoot at everything … we won’t do that. Here we are now. If it moves, it dies. We are so those guys …
McGowan Feb. 1, Ramadi
Well the elections are over, as I’m sure you have seen on CNN. [ … ] The only unfortunate part was that only 1,500 people voted. That’s about half of one percent of the city’s population. So I wouldn’t necessarily call it a success, but it was the first real election here. [ … ] Some people are disappointed at the election turnout, but you have to understand the society we’re dealing with. These people have never had even a taste of the freedom we are offering them. They have never had a country of their own that was worth fighting for. It’s like offering a book of wisdom to a blind man. It’s useless without helping them along. But, I do know this country will be left better than we found it. So I will continue to throw on my flak vest and pick up my weapon each day, head out the gate, and try to get them one step closer to freedom, and myself one step closer to home. Take care, all.
McGowan Feb. 5, Ramadi
Just a quickie today. Things have calmed down a little since the elections. And since it’s been raining recently, hajji just doesn’t want to come out and play. So, I have been catching up on sleep and getting back to my old schedule in the gym.
Army CW4 Matthew Scott Lourey Feb. 9, Balad
I have 2 days left at Balad air Field, then it is a move north. I am looking forward to the change. I expect the danger level to remain the same. I have already operated in the [new] area a couple of times, it actually borders the sector we patrol, so it isn’t much of a change. Enough to make me look forward to it, though. [ … ] I never have much to say because things seem so stagnant.
McGowan Feb. 11, Ramadi
I hate always saying the things are the same here, but they are. Sometimes the good guys get hurt, sometimes we get the bad guys. We have done a couple of raids the past few days so that’s about normal. The raids we go on are becoming routine for me. I know they must seem exciting to people back home, but the adrenaline isn’t quite the same any more for me.
Army Sgt. Kenneth Levi Ridgley Feb. 13, Mosul
Hi honey,
I hope you have a good Valentine’s Day. I love you sooo much! I can’t wait for all this to be over. Five guys got hurt today. They were dismounted (walking) in the city and a car came at them, shooting out the windows. A single drive by killed an Iraqi soldier, shot a little kid in the face, sent two guys to Germany, then home. Luckily the others just had minor shrapnel injuries. One of my snowboarding buddies was shot in the abdomen. He’s doing OK, but will be going home. The other guy was shot in the leg. Sometimes I don’t know what to think about all of this. It seems so senseless that all this bloody combat will ever solve anything.
Army col. Theodore Westhusing April 14, Baghdad
It is really an eye-opener how the real person comes out over here in battle, the heroics by so many … At times, things appear suspicious with a few [Iraqis] we are training and working with, and we don’t know how they are going to react. Remember, some were Saddam’s elite army special forces and guards, who never liked us and now we work/fight side by side. There is a chance the enemy could be right beside you.
Westhusing May 10, Baghdad
Life is worthless over here to so many. Killing everywhere and always ongoing. So many people don’t care and have appeared to have given up. But I won’t, I need to be here to help them …
Army National Guard SPC. John f. Thomas June 12, Baghdad
Dear granddaddy and Manolita,
I hope all is well when this letter reaches you. All is well with me. [ … ] So far we have only lost soldiers to injuries and family problems. There is a soldier who went home for 10 days to see his newborn. That was 18 days ago now. We are assuming he has no plans of returning.
Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Travis L. Youngblood June 23, Anbar Province
I’m going to need a lot of support from you guys when I get home. I have accepted the fact that any day I’m here could be the day I die. That doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ve come so close to dying on at least 10 different occasions, I figure I can keep my luck, or whatever’s working, up until I leave. I’ve had RPGs fly within inches of me. I’ve seen the guys they’ve hit. It blew them to pieces. We literally had to move rocks and debris to find hands, legs and other parts so we could send them home. I’ve had roadside bombs explode next to me, but they’ve been placed wrong, so I didn’t get hurt [ … ] I’ve been shot at countless times, I mean machinegun fire pinging and zipping past me. I had the goggles on my helmet shot.
Ever since the AAV (the s–tty armor[ed] tank-tread troop carrier we ride in) got blown up and I ran through the fire and exploding rounds/rockets/grenade/explosives that were on fire to pull out bodies of guys that I knew were dead, I can’t sleep for s–t. Seeing guys with third-degree burns so bad that the skin comes off when you touch them, screaming bloody murder, really has a habit of f—ing you up. [ … ] Just remember, I love you! And I’m doing everything possible to make sure I come home in September or October or whenever they turn us loose from here. [ … ]
Love, Travis
Army PFC. Marc Delgado Oct. 19, Baghdad
Hey mom. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. But we’ve been working 12-hour days and then doing other stuff on top of that, so writing to you is hard. I’m sorry. But I took the time to write you [now] because I’m tired anyway and I don’t really care anymore. I’ll just be tired … I do the same thing everyday so any news is new news to me … Well, I can barely keep my eyes open so I’m gonna go. Love you, mom. I’ll see you in about 3 months or so.
Army Capt. Ian P. Weikel Dec. 15, at Taji
Please pray that I stop worrying about the IEDs and such. It’s good to have a healthy sense of fear, but with all the focus and bad thoughts I think that it’s making me dwell on it too much and that’s not a good thing. It doesn’t make me effective as a leader. It gets back to trusting God. Please pray that I learn and pray to put this whole deployment in his hands [ … ]
